courage to be hated

The recovery edition of “The Courage to Be Disliked” is published to celebrate exceeding 200 million copies in Korea!
“Do you have the courage to be hated?”
A new classic for our times that shakes our existing values ​​to their core! Why don't you change?
Why don't you feel happy now?

A, an ordinary office worker. He has one problem: he has a dark personality since he was young and cannot easily become friends with people. Because of that, I don't have many friends. I think I'm doing pretty well at work, but the problem is that this personality is revealed when I go to unfamiliar places, such as company dinners or external meetings. How long will I have to live in fear because of my relationships with other people?
There is an eccentric philosopher who responded to A’s concerns by saying, “Personality is neither innate nor unchangeable, but something you choose.” According to philosophers, a person's personality is not determined by heredity or environment. The philosopher says: “We do not remember everything about our childhood; we only decide our lifestyle around the age of ten. Even if you feel that your lifestyle is not free and uncomfortable, the reason you cannot easily change it is because you are afraid of the changes that will come as a result.”
But we all want change. For a freer life than now, a happier life than now, and a more successful life than now. But we easily make excuses and give up easily. Let’s look back on my life now. “It’s all because of her that I became like this,” “If I had been born into a richer family, I wouldn’t be living like this,” or “If I just endure these few years, better days will come,” or you can either blame the past or say things like, “What should I do now?” Didn't I put things off?
The philosopher says: “Humans can change, and anyone can become happy.” But to do that, you need ‘courage’. The courage to be free, the courage to be ordinary, the courage to be happy, and the courage to be hated. You who want a free and happy life, what you need now is ‘courage’.

Adler, the unknown master of psychology
His thoughts are reborn into everyday language and answer our concerns.

The philosopher's innovative and unconventional answer came directly from Alfred Adler's psychology. Alfred Adler, who is considered one of the 'three great masters of psychology' and stands alongside Freud and Jung, was an Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist who created 'individual psychology' that emphasized positive thinking and had a great influence on modern psychology. . He is also called the 'father of self-development' as he influenced people who are called mentors of self-development, such as Dale Carnegie and Stephen Covey.
There were people who were deeply impressed by Adlerian psychology and whose lives changed completely: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Ichiro Kishimi is a philosopher who studied Greek philosophy. One day, after hearing a lecture on Adlerian psychology that said, “Everyone can be happy from this moment,” he began studying Adlerian psychology together. As a result, I have now become an expert on Adlerian psychology. Fumitake Koga was a professional writer. After encountering Adlerian psychology in his troubled 20s, his world view changed and he became absorbed in Adlerian psychology.
When these two people met, they created “The Courage to Be Disliked” by constructing Adlerian psychology in an easy and fun way, which not only provides the answer to personal happiness, but is also powerful enough to change the way you view yourself and the world. Adlerian psychology has not been widely mentioned in the public eye because it has been overshadowed by Freud and Jung, but it is a useful life philosophy that can provide practical help to modern people who have many concerns. In addition, the depth of the content was added with the supervision of Professor Kim Jeong-woon, a cheerful cultural psychologist who reads the times.

Adlerian psychology is the ‘psychology of courage’

Humans are social beings. Unless we are alone in the universe, we have no choice but to live in human relationships. That is why Adler says, “All human worries are worries that arise from human relationships.” No matter what type of worry you have, relationships with others are bound to be involved. Therefore, he emphasized that in order to be happy, you must be free from human relationships, and in order to do so, you must not be afraid of being hated by others. In other words, it means that only by having the ‘courage to be hated’ can one become free and happy.
In other words, everything is a matter of ‘courage’. Freedom and happiness are both a matter of ‘courage’ and not a matter of environment or ability. If we just have the courage to change, the courage to move forward, and the courage to be hated, our relationships can change and become happy in an instant. This is the core of Adler's free and happy life. Let’s find out the specific and practical prescription through “The Courage to Be Disliked,” a book that introduces this innovative Adlerian psychology to the public for the first time.

– ‘Trauma’ does not exist
About 100 years ago, Adler denied Freud's 'causal theory', now widely known as trauma theory, and proposed 'teleology', which states that people act for their current 'purpose'. It may be shocking to many people to deny trauma, which has become almost common sense in today's heyday of psychology, and that it was already 100 years ago. However, those who blame their problems on 'that incident' in the past and are held back by trauma at every critical moment will be interested in Adler's argument.

– Give up the need for recognition and separate tasks.
Adler also argues that in order to live a free and happy life, one must boldly give up the 'desire for recognition' to gain the 'approval' of others. Additionally, he points out that we do not live to meet other people's expectations. Even if you are a child, you do not live to satisfy your parents' expectations, so you should not force or dictate the school you go to, the job you will get, who you will marry, or even the little things you say and do in your daily life. This is ‘separation of tasks’, a key concept in Adlerian psychology.
'Studying' is the child's task, not the parent's task; that is, it is the child's task, not the parent's task. This is because the person who has to accept the final result of that choice is the child, not the parent. Of course, many parents say 'for you'. But is it really ‘for you’? Isn’t it ‘for me’ as a parent? This ‘separation of tasks’ does not simply apply to parent-child relationships. For example, if you have a boss who gets angry unreasonably, it is the boss's job to get angry, and it is the person's job to decide how to react to the boss' behavior.
In other words, Adler believed that we must think about “whose task is this?” and be able to distinguish how much is our task and how much is other people’s task and draw the line. In addition, he insists that no one should interfere with my tasks, and that I should not interfere with other people's tasks. This is because when ‘separation of tasks’ becomes possible, one can be free from the gaze of others and all human relationships become relaxed and simple.

– Life is a ‘series of moments’, not a line but a point
But why do we live so conscious of other people’s opinions? This is because they consider life to be a ‘line’ and want to live a life along the line that others say is right. One of the common misconceptions we have in our lives is that life is a ‘journey to reach the top of the mountain.’ Even these common misunderstandings are directly denied by Adler. If life is a ‘journey to reach the top of the mountain,’ we spend most of our lives ‘on the road.’ The question is, are we really going to consider the life spent on that road as ‘fake’? Meanwhile, Adler argues that life is not a line but a ‘series of dots.’ In other words, life is a series of countless ‘moments’ called ‘now’.
Therefore, Adler urges us to live seriously and thoroughly in the ‘here and now’, not in the past or the future. There is no reason to give up my current life for a future that has yet to come. And then, if your future dreams don't come true, will today, which you worked so hard on, be nothing? Am I a failure who wasted time on the road? Absolutely not. Adler says: “If you live happily today, like dancing, that in itself is enough. If you do that, one day you will be able to live the life you want.”

The birth of a ‘new classic’ that has never been seen before, combining humanities + self-improvement + novels

“It’s conversational, so it’s easy and fun. “It’s easy to read!”
“This one book is better than 100 self-help books!”
“This is a book that will shake your current values ​​to their core!”
“Finding this book is the greatest miracle of my life!”

“The Courage to Be Disliked” presents a new format by combining the famous interpretation of Adlerian psychology by philosopher Ichiro Kishimi, Japan’s leading figure, and the delicious writings of best-selling author Fumitake Koga. It depicts the journey of a 'philosopher' who studied Adlerian psychology and a 'young man' who is negative about the world and has a sense of inferiority, and finds the answer to the question we all wonder, 'How to live a happy life?' through five meetings. It is a composition borrowed from Plato's famous work, “Dialogues,” which makes it feel like watching a play, making it easy and exciting to read, and even feels lively.
First night, ‘Deny trauma’, second night, ‘All worries come from human relationships’, third night, ‘Throw away other people’s tasks’, fourth night, ‘Where is the center of the world?’, fifth night’ The conversation between the philosopher and the young man, which proceeds in the order of 'living seriously here and now', gradually creates tension and adds to the fun. In particular, the young man's rebuttal following the philosopher's argument evokes a great deal of sympathy. Professor Kim Jeong-woon, a cultural psychologist who supervised this book and author of “Men’s Things,” also said, “This book is different. Instead of scolding, he argues logically and carefully. Like the young man in the book, 'What does this mean?' I often wonder: And as you read the book, you clash with the author's logic. “It’s interesting,” he said.
“The Courage to Be Disliked,” which has been translated and published in more than 51 countries around the world and loved by 1 million readers, is a humanities book that has been evaluated as having rewritten the history of bestsellers in Korea by recording “the longest-running #20 ranking in history for 1,000 consecutive weeks.” It can be said to be the birth of a 'new classic' that combines , self-development, and novels. How will your life change after exposure to these new classics? Let’s open the door and go in right now, following the young man in the book.