Raising a child well

In forming a child's personality, the attachment relationship with the mother plays a more important role than the child's temperament factors. If a baby cries for her mother and her mother is quick to notice and immediately responds to her needs, the baby will learn that her mother will help and reassure her whenever she wants. She also said, 'She had fun playing with me, and she knew what I wanted and took care of it. Being with her mom makes her feel at ease and at ease. Because I was happy and comfortable with my mom, I felt the same way when I was with other people, and because my mom always focused on and responded to me, I had self-esteem, thinking, "I am a useful person and worthy of love." You will have . At this time, an image of a good mother is drawn in the child's mind, and this image of a mother gives her the strength to overcome every difficulty that comes her way.
-p32, from [Attachment is an innate survival instinct]

The message that parents must consistently deliver to their children by continuously responding sensitively and empathizing with them from the beginning of their lives is, “We are always looking at you and always listening to what you say. You are a precious and meaningful being. We like you just the way you are. “I will listen carefully to what you say and respond with respect for your reaction.” An exchange of friendly signals occurs between the child and parent as they respond to the child's smile with a smile and empathize verbally with the child's feelings. And through the process of sharing this signal, the child develops a sense of belonging: 'I am connected to a very safe and good being.' Furthermore, they develop the belief that ‘I am not alone in the world’ and internalize the value of ‘I am a good person.’ It is about having an unwavering belief that ‘I was, am, and will always be a good person, and I am connected to people who understand me.’ When a child develops this kind of faith, he or she can understand and accept other friends and, when he or she grows up, many other people, including neighbors and colleagues, with a much broader heart.
-p164-165, from [Feeling understood improves social skills]

It is a prejudice to say that ‘introversion is not possible’. First of all, let go of the illusion that only sociable and active extroverts can make a living in this harsh world. The belief that one has to be proactive to get ahead and succeed has almost reached the level of delusion. In the end, adults' delusions make children more withdrawn. Being shy isn't something to be embarrassed about. I'm so shy that I can't even dare to sing in front of others. But that's not something to be embarrassed about. When guests come, the adults tell them to sing, but the children are shy and shy away. Then, “Is this guy so embarrassed that he can’t even sing a song?” and scolds them. But this is not the right attitude. It is not right to teach the beautiful shyness that comes from a gentle personality as something 'embarrassing' or 'inferior'. Instead of being embarrassed by a child who is shy, say, “Isn’t this child cute because he or she is shy?” We need the wisdom of a mother who says, Shyness is neither embarrassing nor inferior. It is truly a beautiful, high-dimensional emotion of a pure human being.
-p259-260, from [Q13 When you feel unconfident and intimidated]