{"product_id":"자녀-교육-사랑을-이용하지-마라","title":"Parenting: Don't Use Love as a Bargaining Chip","description":"Description\n\nIntroduction\n\nChapter 1. Conditional Parenting\nTwo Ways to Raise a Child\nThe Effects of Conditional Parenting\n\nChapter 2. Giving and Withholding Love\nLove-Based Time-Outs\nWithdrawal of Affection: An Even Harsher Punishment\nRewards That Fail\nThe Problem with Praise\nThe Controversy Over Self-Esteem\n\nChapter 3. Excessive Control\nWhich Children Listen Well?\nThe Opposite Effect\nThe Cost of Control\nReduced Ability to Regulate Calorie Intake \/ Reduced Morality \/ Reduced Interest \/ Reduced Learning Ability\n\nChapter 4. The Cost of Punishment\nWhy Does Punishment Fail?\nPunishment Makes People Angry \/ Punishment Glorifies the Use of Power\nThe Effectiveness of Punishment Eventually Fades \/ Punishment Damages the Relationship with the Child\nPunishment Causes Children to Forget What Really Matters \/ Punishment Makes Children Self-Centered\n\nChapter 5. Forcing Success\nYou Must Do Well in Academics\nYou Must Do Well in Sports\nThe Pressure of \"Must\"\n\nChapter 6. What Gets in Our Way?\nWhat We See and Hear\nWhat We Believe\nOur Thoughts About Children \/ Our Attitude Toward Children \/ Obsession with Competition \/ Children's Abilities \/ Obedience\nKarma \/ Religious Beliefs \/ Black-and-White Thinking\nWhat We Have Experienced\nWhat We Fear\nFear of Being an Inadequate Parent \/ Fear of Being Weak \/ Fear of Being Judged\nFear for the Child's Safety \/ Fear of Spoiling the Child \/ Fear of Being Too Permissive\n\nChapter 7. The 13 Principles of Unconditional Parenting\n1. Reflect\n2. Reconsider Your Own Demands\n3. Focus on Long-Term Goals\n4. Prioritize the Relationship\n5. Change Your Perspective, Not Just the Behavior\n6. Show Respect\n7. Be Honest\n8. Say Less, Ask More\n9. Don't Forget Your Child's Age\n10. Assume Your Child Has Reasonable Motives\n11. Don't Insist on Unnecessary Opposition\n12. Don't Be Inflexible\n13. Don't Rush\n\nChapter 8. Unconditional Love\nMoving Toward Unconditional Love\nWhat to Minimize\nReduce the Frequency of Criticism \/ Narrow the Scope of Criticism \/ Lessen the Intensity of Criticism \/ Find Alternatives to Criticism\nWhat to Maximize\nWhat You Can Do Instead of Threats\nWhat You Can Do Instead of Bribes\nYour Child's Successes and Failures\nCollaboration Between Teachers and Parents\n\nChapter 9. Choices for Children\nThe Benefits of Choice\nFirst Expression of Opinion and Final Decision-Making Power\nDeciding Together\nFalse Choices\nThe Limits of Limits\nWhen a Child Doesn't Want to Do What They Need to Do\n1. Minimize Intervention\n2. Be Honest with Your Child\n3. Explain the Reason\n4. Turn It into Play\n5. Set an Example\n6. Offer as Many Choices as Possible\nGiving It a Try\n\nChapter 10. Thinking from the Child's Perspective\nThe Moral Child\n1. Pay Attention to Your Child\n2. Model a Moral Life\n3. Let Your Child Put It into Practice\n4. Talk It Over with Your Child\nShifting Perspectives\nSeeing Through Your Child's Eyes\n\nAppendix: Parenting Styles in Relation to Culture, Class, and Race\nAcknowledgments\nNotes\nReferences\nIndex\n\nInside the Book\n\n\"A child who behaves with astonishing obedience is trying to do what their parents want and become who their parents want them to be—but the price they pay is losing their sense of self.\" (p.11)\n\nThis book doesn't deny that children sometimes misbehave. But children aren't little monsters who need to be tamed and made to submit—they simply need guidance and support. A child can be compassionate yet aggressive, altruistic yet selfish, cooperative yet competitive. Which traits win out depends on how the child is raised—including whether the child grows up feeling unconditionally loved. (p.33)\n\nEducation experts say that what matters most in a classroom isn't what the teacher taught, but what the student actually learned. The same is true at home. What matters is the message the child receives, not the message we believe we're sending. (p.39)\n\nBad parenting is easy. We can punish a child's misbehavior without much effort. \"One-sided\" methods usually require no thought. \"Collaborative\" methods, on the other hand, demand much more of us. Naturally, if we're not used to collaborative approaches and don't know any alternatives, we end up defaulting to one-sided methods. (p.158)\n\nYou can spoil a child by giving them too many things, but you cannot spoil a child by giving them too much love. As one author put it, the root cause of what we call a \"spoiled\" child is that they received far too much of what they wanted, and far too little of what they truly needed.","brand":"IBOOKPARK","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49623824695524,"sku":"1434741753","price":23.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/9788\/6692\/files\/x9788996466307.jpg?v=1786422273","url":"https:\/\/ibookpark.com\/en\/products\/%ec%9e%90%eb%85%80-%ea%b5%90%ec%9c%a1-%ec%82%ac%eb%9e%91%ec%9d%84-%ec%9d%b4%ec%9a%a9%ed%95%98%ec%a7%80-%eb%a7%88%eb%9d%bc","provider":"IBOOKPARK","version":"1.0","type":"link"}