Description While sons often create friction with their mothers simply because they are the opposite sex, daughters often create friction with their mothers precisely because they are the same sex. This is largely because most mothers want their daughters to achieve an even higher social status and greater success than they themselves did. But when this hope curdles into excessive expectation—an inability to accept the life her daughter actually chooses—it can lead to a very dangerous mother-daughter relationship. — From "I Want My Daughter to Live a Better Life Than Mine" Some parents dismiss their daughters' love of chatting. Take, for example, the old-fashioned grandfather who explodes with "Don't talk while you're eating!", or the chronically exhausted father who cuts off his daughter mid-sentence with "I'm tired, let's talk later," or the mother who simply isn't good at chatting herself. Of all of these, it's most serious when the mother—who spends the most time with her daughter all day long—is the one who can't engage in conversation. — From "Girls Who Chat Well Also Study Well" A girl's learning ability tends to improve through steady, diligent effort. That's why it's important to build the "patience to keep going even when it's boring or hard." Once you start teaching her an instrument—piano, violin, whatever it may be—you shouldn't let her quit halfway. Coax her, encourage her, and if she still resists, scold her if necessary, but make sure she practices every day. For girls, the habit of seeing things through to the end is especially important. — From "Playing Piano Well Makes You Smarter" Because daughters are often adored from infancy as the apple of their parents' eye, many grow up believing "I am the center of the world." A child who acts however she pleases doesn't know how to compromise with the world around her. No matter what others around her think, she refuses to accept anything she herself doesn't agree with. She believes she must always come first, and that throwing a tantrum solves everything. If this pattern repeats, she can only grow into someone full of stubbornness and self-centeredness. — From "Listen Even to Your Son's Small, Everyday Stories" Nagging Is "Poison" for Sons but "Gain" for Daughters Many parenting books advise "minimizing nagging." This holds true, to some extent, for raising sons. But raising daughters is different. The "mother's nagging" that is so often taboo is actually an important influence that shapes a daughter's habits from an early age. The same daily nagging that becomes "poison" for a son can function as good parenting for a daughter. Daughters, who tend to be emotionally sensitive, often intuitively read their mother's mood and adjust their behavior accordingly. In such cases, mothers often end up overlooking their daughter's misbehavior—simply because the daughter, without being told anything, moves in the direction the mother wants. If this pattern continues, the child becomes one who "makes decisions based on reading the room." When problems arise, it's essential to point out each specific misbehavior and give clear, "healthy nagging" about what needs to be done—nagging that fully takes into account the daughter's own emotional sensitivity. In other words, parents need to understand that sons want their abilities recognized, while daughters want their very existence to be recognized. A Must-Read for Mothers Who Want to Raise Their Daughters to Be "Wise" Rather Than Merely "Ladylike" The gender-specific traits the author presents are clearly distinguished across two companion books: Raise Your Son to Be Great with a Quiet Voice and Raise Your Daughter to Be the Center of the World. Comparing the characteristics of sons and daughters makes it easy to understand why—and how—their upbringing should differ. Think back to a class reunion where you ran into a male classmate who had grown into a dignified, accomplished adult. "He used to be such a hopeless troublemaker..." Almost everyone has had the experience of being surprised to hear that some boy who never studied and only caused trouble in school ended up getting into a top university and landing a job at a major company. But now think carefully: have you ever heard a similar life-turnaround story about a girl—"She always ranked near the bottom of the class, but she got into a prestigious university," or "She was always last in her class, but she became a doctor"? Such stories are far less common. Why does this difference exist? Japan's leading education consultant and author of this book closely analyzes children's temperaments, learning environments, and parental attitudes to uncover the answer...