Youth: ...What should I do from now on? Philosopher: That's right. The only thing we need to discuss is 'what to do from now on.' There's no need for 'that bad person.' No need for 'poor me' either. No matter how loudly you protest, I'll simply let it pass. Youth: You're not even human! Philosopher: It's not that I'm a cold person. It's just that there's nothing to discuss about that, so I let it pass. Even if I listened to your story about 'that bad person' or 'poor you' and sympathized, saying, "That must have been hard" or "It wasn't your fault at all," you might feel comforted for a moment. You might feel satisfied that you got counseling, that you confided in someone. But then, how would tomorrow, and every day after, actually be different? Wouldn't you want comfort again the next time you got hurt? Isn't that ultimately just 'dependence'? ...That is why, in Adlerian psychology, we discuss 'what to do from now on.' -From pages 82-83, "Focus on What to Do From Now On" Philosopher: Let me introduce something Kant said. He spoke of self-reliance this way: "The reason humans remain in a state of immaturity is not a lack of reason, but a lack of the resolve and courage to use one's own reason without direction from another. In other words, humans remain in immaturity under their own responsibility." Youth: A state of immaturity? Philosopher: Yes, a state that has not yet reached true independence. Here, what he calls 'reason' can be understood as a general 'capacity' that includes not only intellect but also emotion. Youth: So you're saying it's not that we lack ability, but that we lack the courage to use the ability we have—and that's why we remain immature? Philosopher: Exactly. And Kant added this: "Have the courage to use your own reason." -From pages 132-133, "You Are the One Who Chooses Your Own Life" Philosopher: A person who can only feel happy through being praised will, until the very last moment of their life, continue to wish for 'more praise.' That person will remain in a position of 'dependence,' living a life of endless craving, endlessly unfulfilled. Youth: Then what am I supposed to do? Philosopher: You must stop wanting recognition from others and instead affirm yourself by your own will. Youth: Affirm myself? Philosopher: Having others determine 'my' worth—that is dependence. Deciding 'my' own worth myself—that is 'independence.' The answer to where a happy life lies should now be clear. It is not someone else who determines your worth. Youth: That's impossible! We seek approval from others precisely because we lack confidence in ourselves! Philosopher: Perhaps that's because you lack the 'courage to be ordinary.' You just need to be as you are. Even if you're not 'special,' even if you're not exceptionally outstanding, your place is right there. Accept your ordinary self, yourself as 'one among many.' -From pages 167-168, "The Courage to Be Myself" Youth: The birth of society is, in other words, the birth of 'suffering.' Within society, we face all kinds of suffering—conflict, competition, jealousy, loneliness, even feelings of inferiority. Discord echoes between 'me' and 'that person.' We can never return to those quiet days within the warm, gentle amniotic fluid. We have no choice but to live in this noisy human society. If there were no others, there would be no worries. But it is absolutely impossible to escape from others. In the end, all human worries stem from human relationships. ...Have I misunderstood anything? Philosopher: No, you've summarized it very well. Let me just add one thing. Just because all worries stem from human relationships, does that mean cutting ties with others would solve them? Would shutting yourself away in your room, avoiding others, solve anything? No. Absolutely not. Because human joy, too, stems from human relationships. A person living 'alone in the universe' would have no worries, but also no joy. They would lead a monotonous life. Adler said all worries are...