Description Introduction The Secret Culture of Girls' Aggression The Intimate Enemy The Truth Hurts The Girl Who Thinks She's the Best The Bully in the Mirror How to Become Popular Resistance Parents and Teachers The Road Ahead Closing Thoughts Inside the Book Silence runs deep within women's experiences. It has only been about thirty years since society began openly discussing issues women may face—such as rape, incest, domestic violence, and women's health. These problems always existed, but as times changed, shifts in public conscience, policy, and awareness finally allowed our culture to confront them. Now it is time to break the silence once again—this time about the secret culture of girls' aggression. Within this culture, bullying spreads in ways that are distinctive and deeply destructive. Unlike the direct physical and verbal aggression typically associated with boys, our culture generally discourages girls from openly expressing conflict, instead demanding that their aggression be non-physical, indirect, and hidden. (p.9) When we can agree that kind girls can get angry and good girls can be unkind, we begin to cultivate the social desert that lies between "good" and "bad." As more positive language emerges for girls to speak truthfully to one another, more girls will find their voice. They will answer their own questions and untangle the mysteries of their relationships. What greater gift could we give girls than the ability to speak their own truth and honor the truth of their peers? When society learns to value the full range of girls' emotions, girls too will be able to enjoy the freedom that comes from honest relationships—living without fear of being abandoned. (p.373) Meeting many girls over the years, I realized I was not alone in what I had felt. It was astonishing to discover that we shared similar memories and emotions, that someone else understood what was in our hearts. That comfort touched me deeply, and it opened an unexpected door we could walk through together. If memories of being bullied were the beginning of this book, it ends with more questions and answers—about the culture we live in, about how girls treat one another, and about ourselves, whom we once imagined were alone. (p.17)