Description

On the surface, we seem to live without a care, but deep down, we all carry thorns that prick us. Is there anyone among us who is not hurting? Even in the absolute relationship between parents and children, feelings of hatred, pain, resentment, and guilt can sometimes grow, leaving unresolved wounds within. Because of these wounds, many people struggle through life, feeling pain and burden without knowing the reason.
By acknowledging my feelings about the wounds I received in childhood and accepting that I am a being with various desires, I can recognize my true self and live the countless days ahead with a sense of stability.
This book contains the best advice deeply analyzed and researched from the perspective of a psychiatrist, reflecting on the many painful stories that poured in while writing a mental counseling column and the suffering of those who came to the author feeling lost, exploring where their pain originated and how to manage it.
Life can often be frightening for anyone, but those who have experienced ambiguity and fear in their relationship with their parents during childhood tend to face greater difficulties in life. To the reader who may be feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, the author encourages you to muster just a little strength to recognize yourself. Believe that you have the inner strength to say that you were hurt back then and are still hurting now, along with warm comfort and clear advice.
 
◾Preface | To those who have suffered so much, who among us is not ‘you’? Part 1. Parents, but...
How could they do that as parents?-What kind of beings are parents that they can cause such pain?
-It’s okay to hate your parents
-Not all parents are ‘parent-like’
-Say you ‘hated’ them. Confess that it was ‘so hard’
-You may understand, but you may not forgive
-Keep your distance. Don’t try too hard to be good
-If you study your parents as separate entities from yourself
-Why do parents only remember the good things they did, while children only remember the bad?
-The love that hurts the more you lovePart 2. So, me...
It’s not your fault; you couldn’t help it back then-I hate my parents, but beneath that, I hate myself even more
-I can’t even decide on small things
-I just endure nonsensical things
-When I think it’s what my parents want, I don’t want to do it
-I keep meeting bad men
-I can’t say ‘No’. Relationships are difficult
-Because of so many ‘musts’, there’s no room for love
-I’m the child who was hit by my parents, and now I’m hitting my child
-People at work ostracize me. I’m just trying to read the room
-I have a fear of grades. I worry about my child’s sex education
-My child looks down on parents who didn’t graduate from college
-When it’s too hard, I think, ‘I wish I could just die’
-I keep regretting over countless trivial matters
-Just a little lack of understanding makes me feel abandoned
-Can I reconcile with the pain inside me, that desperation?Part 3. But again, parents...
Don’t be afraid; your child is different from you-You don’t want to be a mother like your mom
-Your child will never grow up to be like you. Don’t be afraid
-Why are you apologizing so much? Guilt is not maternal love
-Discipline is necessary. But don’t let it become scary
-The thought that the child doesn’t behave as I want
-The child who wasn’t childlike was actually in pain
-It’s always the parents who need to reach out again
-Don’t be too serious about parenting; it’s okay
-Don’t take your child’s emotions as thoughts
-To build your child’s self-trust
-Ultimately, ‘warm memories with parents’ are the most important
-If the desire to raise them well becomes too strong, it contains ‘my greed’Part 4. And once again, me...
If you know where the pain begins, you should also know where happiness comes from-Reconciling with my inner self is ‘reconciliation’
-Ask yourself, “Is this really something to be so sad about?”
-Accept the wounds I’ve received and the desires within me
-Don’t suffer to the point where the roots of your life shake
-‘Ah, it’s starting again, be cautious!’ You must shout to yourself
-If you’re not the only one suffering, it’s okay to be just as you are
-You are a good person, but not everyone likes you
-Avoiding what you hate more than death is also wisdom in life
-The path I’m standing on now is likely the best one
-I just do my ‘best for today’ as it comes
◾Closing Remarks | Forgive yourself every night before you sleep.