Description ★★★★★ Newly expanded edition celebrating over 200,000 copies sold ★★★★★ ★★★★★ Includes age-specific digital parenting guidance to protect your child's developing brain ★★★★★ ★★★★★ The definitive guide to parent-child communication, drawing on 30 years of research ★★★★★ The golden rule of communication every parent must remember: "Speak with understanding 80% of the time, and share your values the other 20%." Talking with your child is how a parent models what it means to live a good life. Through conversation, parents open up a wider world for their children and offer them a vision for living. Providing unwavering emotional support while also guiding your child toward greater growth from a broader perspective—that is the kind of conversation parents should be having with their children. But think about how we actually talk to our kids day to day. Most of it is nagging or lecturing: "Do this," "Don't do that," "Why on earth would you do that?" Sometimes parents lose control of their emotions, get angry, and regret it afterward. Why does communication with the children we love so often become so one-sided? It's because of a deep sense of responsibility to guide them onto the right path. Unfortunately, this sense of responsibility can turn into excessive scolding, which causes children to stop listening to their parents altogether. That's why parents need to study how to communicate. Rather than speaking however they feel like in the moment, parents need to understand how to speak so that the lessons children need actually get through to them. This book lays out the essential principles of parent-child communication that every parent should know—chief among them, the "80:20 rule." Eight out of every ten things you say should be about checking in on your child's feelings, understanding them, and empathizing with them. The remaining two should be reserved for sharing the values you truly want to pass on. When parents focus too heavily on delivering values, they end up pointing out their child's mistakes more often, which leads the child to see themselves as inadequate. Children also come to feel a great distance from parents who don't seem to accept them as they are. That's why, even when there's a lot parents want to say, they need to hold back and put more effort into understanding-based conversation. When they do, children become more willing to accept guidance and, in time, begin to change. A parent's essential guide to communication—without anger, without anxiety, without habitual nagging—choosing only what truly needs to be said, and saying it wisely. In this book, Professor Shin Eui-jin repeatedly emphasizes that parents need to study their children. Many communication breakdowns happen because parents fail to objectively understand their child's stage of development. For example, stern warnings have little effect on a three-year-old, who learns language through repetition. On the other hand, a six-year-old—who accepts a parent's words as important rules—responds well to setting rules together and using rewards. In this way, a parent's approach to communication needs to shift at each stage of a child's development. This book divides childhood into three stages—ages 0 to 4, ages 5 through second grade, and third grade through adolescence—and offers a detailed look at the characteristics of each stage along with the communication strategies parents should practice. Professor Shin also advises that if you truly want to communicate well with your child, you first need to learn how to manage your own inner world. Conversation between parent and child isn't just an exchange of pleasant, polite words—it's an honest exchange between two inner selves. If a parent fails to work through their own feelings of inferiority and old wounds, those wounds can be unknowingly passed down to the child through words. This is why this expanded edition includes new content focused on helping parents nurture their own inner well-being. With sections like "You May Be Caught in the 'Good Mom' Complex Without Realizing It," "Why Parents Need Self-Reflection," "Wounds I Never Knew I Had Until I Became a Parent," and "How to Keep Your Own Insecurities from Hurting Your Child," this book offers guidance on becoming a parent who knows how to care for their own heart—so they can offer their child steady, unwavering emotional support. "Above all, protect your child's dignity." 10 Essential Communication Techniques Every Wise Parent Should Know What should you do if your child lies as easily and often as breathing? Most parents would firmly tell their child that lying is wrong, and scold them harshly enough to bring tears. But children have their own sense of dignity too. Without considering things from the child's point of view...