Description A Word of Thanks to Korean Readers Publishing the 2019 Revised Edition Introduction 1. Parenting Also Requires Training 2. Parents Are People with Feelings, Too What Is Acceptance? You Can't Always Treat Your Child Consistently Both Parents Don't Need to Show the Same Attitude Toward the Child False Acceptance What If You Say You Dislike the Child's Behavior, Not the Child? What It Means to Say Parents Are Human, Too Whose Problem Is It to Solve? 3. How Can You Get Your Child to Open Up? — The Language of Acceptance The Power of Accepting Language How to Convey Acceptance Through Nonverbal Messages How to Convey Acceptance Through Verbal Messages Simple Ways to Open Up Conversation Active Listening 4. Listening Also Requires Skill — Active Listening Active Listening When the Child Has a Problem Examples of Active Listening When to Use Active Listening Common Mistakes When Using Active Listening 5. How Can You Listen to a Baby Who Can't Talk? What Kind of Beings Are Babies? Understanding a Baby's Needs and Problems Helping Babies Through Active Listening Giving Babies the Chance to Meet Their Own Needs 6. How to Speak So Your Child Will Listen When Parents Have the Problem Ineffective Ways of Dealing with Children Effective Ways of Dealing with Children The Three Components of I-Messages Why I-Messages Are More Effective 7. Using I-Messages Effectively You-Messages Disguised as I-Messages Don't Overemphasize Negative Feelings Parents Should Express Honest Feelings Conveying Nonverbal I-Messages to Babies What to Do When Problems Arise While Using I-Messages Other Ways to Use I-Messages 8. Solving Problems by Changing the Environment Enriching the Surrounding Environment Simplifying the Surrounding Environment Streamlining the Surrounding Environment Limiting the Activity Space Creating a Safe and Clean Environment Having the Child Substitute One Behavior for Another Preparing the Child for Changes in the Environment Shaping the Environment Together with Older Children 9. The Inevitable Conflict Between Parent and Child — Who Should Win? The Power Struggle Between Parent and Child — Who Wins, Who Loses? The Limits of Win-Lose Conflict Resolution 10. Is Parental Authority Truly Necessary and Legitimate? What Is Authority? The Limits of Using Authority What Happens to Children When Parents Are Authoritarian? Misunderstandings About Parental Authority 11. The No-Lose Method of Resolving Conflict A Method Where No One Loses: Method 3 Children Are More Motivated to Follow Solutions Greater Likelihood of Finding Better Solutions Develops the Child's Thinking Skills Reduces Hostility, Increases Love Eliminates the Need for Coercion No Need to Use Power Allows Access to the Real Problem Between Parent and Child Treats the Child Like an Adult Method 3 Has a Therapeutic Effect 12. Worries and Fears About the No-Lose Method How Is It Different from Traditional Family Meetings? Doesn't It Leave Parents Powerless? Can a Group Really Reach a Conclusion? It Takes Too Much Time Since Parents Are Wiser Than Children, Isn't Method 1 More Appropriate? Can It Be Used with Young Children? Aren't There Times When Method 1 Should Be Used? Won't Respect for Parents Disappear? 13. Putting the No-Lose Method into Practice When Is a Good Time to Start? Six Steps of the No-Lose Method Problems That May Arise When Using the No-Lose Method The No-Lose Method Should Also Be Applied to Conflicts Between Siblings When Both Parents Disagree Can All Three Methods Be Used Together? Aren't There Times When the No-Lose Method Doesn't Work? 14. How to Avoid Losing Your Standing as a Parent Questions of Values, Beliefs, and Taste The Question of Children's Human Rights Shouldn't Parents Teach Values to Their Children? 15. Parents Need to Change Be More Generous with Yourself A Child Is Not a Possession Do You Truly Love Your Child, or Only a Certain Type of Child? Are Only the Parents' Values and Beliefs Right? Your Spouse Comes Before Your Child Can a Parent's Attitude Really Change? 16. Parents Are Not the Only Influence on Children Appendix 1. Listening to Feelings Test 2. Ineffective Communication Test 3. Speaking in I-Messages Test 4. Degree of Authority Use Test 5. The Impact of Twelve Faulty Communication Methods on Children Inside the Book As a Clinical Psychologist, I...