Description Prologue - When Mothers Hurt Their Children PART 1: A Mother's Letter of Reflection to Her Child I Never Wanted to Become a Mother Like My Mother Does a Child Only Deserve Love After Achieving Something? The Uncomfortable Truth That the Family Can Be a Blind Spot for Human Rights If You Truly Want Your Child to Be Happy Mothers Who Turn Away from Their Children's Dark Feelings Only Taking Care of Appearances Mothers Who Just Follow What Others Do Thinking It's Enough If Only My Own Child Succeeds PART 2: The Behavioral Unit of a Mother Who Lives Wrapped Up in Her Child — "Inclusion" Mothers Who Live Their Whole Lives "Including" Their Children The Korean Version of "A Woman's Life" What's Wrong with Being a Stay-at-Home Dad? Feeling Guilty Whether You Include Them or Not Wanting "Salvation" as a Family Unit, Too Diligently Playing Only the Role of Mother Is the Mother Running This Race Alone? A Child Is Not a Mother's Mercenary Wounds Given Without Knowing Turn Down the Volume of Your Mother's Voice PART 3: Social and Cultural Customs That Make Being a Mother So Hard If You Don't Study, You'll Fail in Life Why Does the Mother Have to Play the Father's Role? Raising a Child with Money, and Educating a Child to Only Earn Money Living by the Modern Version of the "Three Obediences" Following in Grandmother's Footsteps as a Mother, Too A Society That Neglects Emotional Health Is Saving Face Really So Important? Others Exist, and So Do I Do We Really Prefer a Child Who Acts "Grown-Up"? PART 4: Looking Back on Childhood Healing the Wounds of Childhood What Do I Have to Do to Please My Mother? A Daughter Living as Her Mother's Satellite No Child Is Born That Way A Child Who Only Understands Herself, a Child Who Only Watches Others' Reactions For Children, Their Parents' Fights Are as Terrifying as War Feelings That Can Only Be Expressed as "Irritation" Do Not Strike Even with a Flower PART 5: Becoming an Adult Mother Who Has Healed Her Childhood Wounds Acknowledge Yourself Let's Go Back to Childhood The Light of Hope Overcomes the Darkness of Despair No One Is Free from Their Past Becoming a Mother Doesn't Happen Overnight PART 6: A Good Mother Who Empathizes with Her Child's Heart Reading and Understanding the Wavering Look in a Child's Eyes How Should We Convey the World of Feelings? Changing Yourself Is the First Step to Improving the Relationship Change for Us Breaking Free from Complexes Don't Raise a Child Who Lives for Their Mother ■ Voices of Change A Child Who Struggled to Please Her Mother Others Notice the Change, Too Our Mom Has Changed Finding My Own Heart Precious Tears ■ Epilogue - Living to Love Your Child Inside the Book I was sitting at a donut shop, having ordered a cup of coffee while waiting for someone. Without meaning to, I ended up overhearing a conversation between a young mother and her son, who looked to be about a fourth grader, as they shared donuts at the table next to mine. It seemed the two of them had come out for a quiet talk together. But listening in, it felt less like a conversation and more like the mother talking on her own. The child said little, eating quietly with a sullen expression. Whenever he did try to speak, his mother would cut him off before he finished, saying, "But..." I couldn't catch all the details, but it seemed like she was saying, "I know what you're trying to say, but..." and steering the topic elsewhere. At one point, she even scolded him for "not keeping his promise to Mom." I worried that when she got home, this mother would believe she had had a thorough heart-to-heart with her child. These days, young mothers, unlike mothers of the past, may be confident that they "talk about everything" with their children. But I wonder whether mothers are truly listening to and understanding their children's hearts — or even trying to. Lately, I've noticed more and more concerning moments where mothers seem to be (gently and elegantly) commanding and directing their children one-sidedly, and I worry that children are suffering under such treatment. And yet, looking closely, it seems mothers themselves don't even realize they are hurting their children. _pp. 6-7 Every mother has probably had the experience, at least once, of being startled by the sound of her own voice raised at her child. Haven't you ever been caught off guard when that very sound — the one that once frightened you as a child, so long ago — suddenly burst out of your own mouth? Looking at your child's bewildered face after you've shouted, you may vividly see your own childhood feelings reflected back at you: the sadness of feeling misunderstood by your own mother, and the child you once were.