Description

"It’s okay, those without shade cannot understand light." We often kill ourselves once more when we are struggling. We dislike our struggling selves, treat our depression as a nuisance, and censor ourselves even in the face of sadness. In the midst of this, we worry about how others see us and once again blame ourselves. Eventually, we become exhausted and fall into apathy. "I think of myself as weak, and I feel like everyone else knows that weakness. Even if I pretend to be confident, I fear that my inner weakness will be exposed. I’m afraid of looking pathetic. But in reality, no one has ever looked down on me; I have been the one looking down on myself the most." "That’s a kind of self-punishing desire. You can be angry one moment and then suddenly feel guilty. It’s because you’ve built up an idealized version of yourself by borrowing from what looks better elsewhere. You want to be someone with absolute standards. But when it’s tough, I am always the one who is suffering the most. That’s neither pathetic nor selfish." There is no extraordinary sadness in the world. There is no reason to seek validation for your sadness from someone else. So we can speak up. We can say that the sudden freedom and choices we are given are frightening and overwhelming, and that we are, in fact, depressed. "What do I want? I want to love and be loved. Just comfortably, without doubt, that’s all." We want to love and be loved, to live a life where there are more good things than bad, and to learn how not to hurt ourselves. Even if we experience failure, we want to turn our eyes toward something better. We only suffer because we don’t know how. The author has always struggled with an unknown thirst and emptiness and needed empathy from people like herself. So instead of searching for those people, she decided to become one herself. She decided to wave her hand vigorously, saying, "I am here." Hoping that someone will recognize her gesture and come closer to share a sense of reassurance together. Why are we depressed? The reason is obvious. Because we want to live better, because we don’t want to be in pain. Depression is based on hope. Without hope, we cannot even be sad. I hope this book gives you the belief that even if today isn’t a perfect day, it can still be a good day, and that life is about being able to smile at the smallest things after being sad all day. As long as we don’t give up, we can continue to live, laugh, and cry.